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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part 1: How To Think About Success With Women 7
Chapter 1: Women Don't Make Sense 8
Where Our Desires Come From 9
The First Shift In Thinking 10
It's A Game To Them 12
Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money And Power 12
The Dark Side Of Beauty 13
The Underlying Motives 16
Chapter 2: How I Discovered What Works With Women 17
It's OK To Be A Man 17
My Story 20
Do As Much As You Can To Improve 22
Self Image, Self Talk, And Other Self Stuff 24
The Attitude 24
It All Comes Down To Your Skills. 26
Internal States 29
Find Others 29
What Outcome Are You Looking For? 30
Part 2: How To Communicate With Women 31
Chapter 3: How To Develop A Personality That Is Irresistible
To Women 32
Be Different In An Attractive Way 32
Your Enemy Is Insecurity and Neediness 32
Thinking In Time Frames 34
How Men Usually Find Women 35
The Six Things That Attract Women 36
Personality Traits That Attract Women 37
Chapter 4: How To Use Communication And Humor To Attract
Women 41
How Women Test Men And Why 41
The Very Attractive Women Are Approached All The Time 45
More On My Way Of Looking At Things 46
On Being A Man 48
How To Tease (How To Speak Woman) 49
Humor 52
How To Be Funny, The One Page Course 54
Let's Be Friends 55
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
More Nuggets of Gold 56
On Predictability 58
On Testing 60
Voice Tone 60
On Persistence: 61
How To Answer Any Question That You Don't Want To Answer 62
Chapter 5: On Looks and Body Language 64
Body Language Basics 64
Signs That A Woman Is Interested 66
On Cuddling 67
Part 3: Exactly What, When, And How 69
Chapter 6: The Basics of Style and Class, Plus More On How To
Fascinate Women 70
Be Prepared! Expect 70
Learn To Cook A Few Good Meals 70
Learn A Few Cold Reading Methods 71
Get A Few Good Props 72
Chivalry 72
Chapter 7: Where And How To Meet Women 74
Where To Meet Women 74
How To Meet Women 76
The Initial Approach 76
Meeting Women Online 78
Getting Them Interested In You 79
Getting Phone Numbers And Email Addresses 80
How To Get The First Meeting 82
Two Ways Women Think About Men And How You Control This 82
When You Meet 84
Places To Go 85
Chapter 8: Getting Physical 87
How To Take The Next Step 87
Chapter 9: Keeping Her Attracted To You, Or "How To Have a
Long Term Relationship" 89
The Beginning of the End, Or the End of the Beginning 89
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
Part 1: How To Think
About Success With
Women
In this section, I'm going to teach some interesting things about
how women think, and how I've used this information to make myself
more successful with them.
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
Chapter 1: Women Don't Make Sense
I'm going to start off this whole shebang by giving you my take on
women in general.
I know, I know. Every woman is a unique creature. But women
have more commonalties than they have differences. So let's start
with what I think they have in common, then we'll move on to
differences (the ideas that I'm about to share with you here are from
my own research, testing in the real world and analysis).
For most men, a woman is like a Chinese puzzle inside of a brain
twister.
Much of their behavior makes no sense at all (to men).
If there's one thing that I'm clear about, it's that most women
THINK differently than most men and most women want different
things than most men.
This is hard for many men to grasp or understand, but it's true.
And the sooner you get a handle on what's going on here, the sooner
you'll be more successful with women.
Let's start by comparing what men and women are interested in.
Have you ever stopped to think about what entertains women as a
group compared to what entertains men as a group? Women buy
Cosmopolitan magazine, watch soap operas, and read romance novels.
Men buy Playboy, watch sports, and read the paper.
Hey, wait a minute here! What's in those Cosmos, soaps, and
romance novels? And why are women so attracted to them?
And why is it that when men try to watch a soap opera or read a
romance novel all they can say is "I don't get it "?
I'll tell you why. It's because women's brains are wired differently
from men's brains. That's why.
And by telling you about what attracts women's attention, I've also
given you a clue about how to attract them to YOU.
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
Where Our Desires Come From
After spending the last ten years or so studying psychology and
behavior, I've come to the opinion that MOST of our desires, drives,
preferences, strengths, weaknesses, behaviors and personality traits
are determined by our DNA and some by our social conditioning. I'm
talking about both men and women here.
Even differences like whether a person prefers adventure or couch
riding are largely a matter of programming from birth (If you really
don't want to agree with me on this one, read some books on the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or try the book Who Am I?)
In any event, HOWEVER they got to be interested in these common
things, most women have a few main interests, needs, desires, or
whatever you want to call them when it comes to men, relationships,
and romance.
Have you ever read the personals? Have you ever noticed how
many women say things like "princess looking for prince", "friends
first" and "looking for my soul-mate"? Have you ever noticed how
almost NO men ever say these things?
What's going on?
Have you ever listened to a group of women talking about men?
Ever notice how they speak largely in some kind of code language and
constantly make a big deal out of tiny details that seem totally
irrelevant?
Have you ever noticed, on the other hand, how men are direct with
each other and have no interest in bickering over small things?
What's going on?
Have you ever noticed how attracted to drama most women are?
Here's my take on this whole subject: Women are playing out a
role that hasn't changed for thousands (millions?) of years. These days
the language and clothing are different. But it's the same that it's
always been.
There are different parts of human brains that create drives and
desires for different things. Often, these drives conflict with each
other.
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
For instance, a woman might want a strong man in her life, but she
might also want a feeling of independence. She might want to have
attention, but she might also want to be seen as above needing
attention. (Men have these types of conflicts as well, only in different
areas)
So, for example, I hear a lot of men saying things like "I hate all
the drama that women create. Why do they create this stuff?"
My answer: Drama accomplishes a lot of things at once. It gets
attention, it sends emotions through the body (emotions are highly
addictive chemicals), it's a way to be self righteous, it's often fun, it's
interesting and prevents boredom, it gives things meaning and on
and on. There are a lot of good reasons for drama. But most men can't
understand them because drama fulfills needs that MOST MEN DON'T
HAVE.
It's like women saying "I hate it when all a guy can talk about is
sports." What needs to sports fulfill for men? Competition, adrenaline,
power, domination all the typical guy stuff. Incidentally, stuff that
fulfills needs that most women just plain don't have.
The First Shift In Thinking
So let's start off with this shift in thinking: Think about what the
woman that you're interested needs and wants, and don't assume that
these are the same things that YOU need and want.
And don't assume that what women want is going to make any
sense at all to you, because it probably won't. This was a big one for
me personally to get. Almost none of what I do to be successful with
women makes any sense to me logically, because I'm not a woman.
But now that I see how what I do works over and over and over again,
I realize that it doesn't matter what makes sense.
All that matters is WHAT WORKS.
Let's get a little deeper into the female heart and mind.
Females select males most of the time in nature and in modern
human courtship. And even if the man selects the woman, many if not
most women still harbor the secret fantasy that they're 'letting him do
it' etc.
Sooooooo It's good to address this issue and point out when
talking to women (even if you hint at it and talk about past
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
experiences to make the point) that you are the selector and not the
selectee. This kind of thing is very very very powerful, as it does one
of my favorite things: It points out something to the woman that she's
most likely NEVER HEARD FROM A MAN IN HER ENTIFE LIFE. I
specialize in saying things that women have never heard. I also like to
say things that she's never heard that MAKE ME DIFFERENT IN A
DESIRABLE WAY.
I even say to women "I'm about to tell you something (or
something about you) that no one has ever told you " This really gets
a woman on the edge of her seat and puts her into an instant state of
attention (when done in a context that makes sense). And if the thing
you tell them is profound enough, they'll begin to see you and a sort of
super psychic powerhouse (women are fascinated by these kinds of
things).
My personal view is that if you help people to have profound
realizations, they'll see you as a guru rather than seeing the
information or themselves as powerful. It doesn't matter where the
info came from, as long as it's something that the person has never
really thought about in that way (that's also profound to her).
One good example is to say to a hot woman who's acting arrogant
"You don't have me fooled for a minute, dear."
When she say's "What are you talking about?" you say "Well, I
know that most men fall for this 'I'm beautiful and aloof and I get my
way' part of your personality but I know something that none of
them know that there's really another side of you. A side that none
of THEM get to see. I'll bet you a dollar right now that I know
something about you that no one who's only known you for 5 minutes
has EVER known <pause pause pause> You may act tough, but
you're actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes
a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn't bother you
but you'll think about it all the way home I know that secretly you're
as sensitive as a little girl it's just that most people never get to
meet that part of you "
This messes up a cold woman soooo hard that you have to be
ready for instant personality meltdown and a completely different
person to come out of her. At this point, it's often easy to start talking
about the whole pick up scene and how women play men, etc. to let
her know you're an insider and not falling for her game. If you drop
two or three more profound comments during this time, you'll have a
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
woman that won't leave you alone (but keep acting like you want to be
left alone so she'll stay after you!). Nice.
It's A Game To Them
Women often view men picking up on them as a sort of game.
They talk about it with each other, they have standard lines that they
learn when you ask for their number - "Why don't you give me YOUR
number instead and I can call you ?" and so on.
I know that some, maybe even most women go out on weekends
with the mindset of "I'm never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it
boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and
I like to have free drinks and I love to dance with my girlfriends and
be a tease and I love the power of shooting men down while
pretending to be annoyed by it etc."
Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money And
Power
I recently answered the question "What is it about fame and
money and power that attracts women?" for someone. I say that
women are attracted to men that are famous, rich, powerful for a
REASON.
My opinion is that they believe on a genetically and socially
programmed, unconscious level that these men are more intelligent,
more fun, more interesting, more able to give them the lifestyle - and
MOST IMPORTANTLY- give them the FEELINGS that they want. In his
book 'Influence' Robert Cialdini talks about a psychological principle
called the 'Halo Effect.' In a nutshell, humans naturally assume that
attractive and powerful people are smarter and more trustworthy than
average people.
A woman desires a man that fits into her self image fantasies that
have been forming since she was very young. And thanks to Disney
these fantasies were imbedded even further than her genetic wiring
ever intended.
Overall, the answer is to realize that rich, powerful, famous guys
have the advantage at the beginning from their FAMILIARITY and
ASSUMED, PROJECTED positive traits. But if you can learn to get a
woman's attention and then give her the FEELINGS that she's always
wanted, she'll treat you like you're famous, rich, and powerful as well.
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
A tall, handsome man, or a famous rich man 'pushes a button' and
triggers certain feelings inside of a woman. If you're not rich, famous,
tall and/or super attractive, you have to learn to 'install the button' so
that when they see you, then have those feelings. The good news is
that you can do this with most women, whereas you cannot with most
men.
While women are interested in looks to some degree, they are
MORE interested in how you make them feel. Even if you don't
understand this, you have to believe it and start acting as though it's
true. You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the
best thing for a woman, and that you are going to make her feel
wonderful inside.
Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it.
Ask yourself:
"How would I walk if I believed that I could make any woman feel
great inside?
"How would I talk if I believed that I could make any woman feel
great inside?"
"What would the expression be on my face if I believed that I could
make any woman feel great inside?"
"How would I act differently if I were the kind of man that women
dreamed about?"
Then start doing these things. When you're talking to a woman,
imagine how good you're going to make her feel. Fake it till you make
it. Just do it. Women will notice.
The Dark Side Of Beauty
Underneath all of this, most of these powerful women have a
'shadow' or dark side.
This dark side is secretly wanting a man that is in control of
himself, his reality, and them.
But they'd never admit it - often not even to themselves.
But their unconscious knows and recognizes this as something that
they want. They also hold a kind of inner CONTEMPT for the weak
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Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women ©2001, All Rights Reserved.
people (especially men) who give them everything they want, as is
evidenced by the "Oh, he's just a guy I use to buy me things and "He's
my 'Boytoy'" kind of comments that women often make to their
girlfriends.
On the topic of men giving gifts to women and buying them things:
Many women will take what is available to them (even if they have to
do a little manipulation for it), but they will ultimately resent and
disrespect a man that gives too much to them.
As a matter of fact, to most hot women THEIR REALITY is that men
kiss up to them and that men will give them what they ask for or
demand (worst case, they have to get upset or act bitchy to get their
way). AGAIN, THIS IS THEIR REALITY. Men that don't fit this are often
just tuned out as if they didn't exist in order to keep this reality as
pure as possible for them. (Also, I think that many women harbor a
contempt for their beauty. At a shadow level, they are kept from living
a real life and being closer to the real world simply because fewer and
fewer people can relate to them in proportion to how 'beautiful' they
are and make themselves. Addressing this topic when speaking to
women is VERY powerful. More later.)
Men are often behaving like ass kissers because they are afraid
that a woman might get upset and leave, and the fact is that by acting
this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. It's one of those paradoxes
that's a self fulfilling prophesy. A woman whines, man say's "Oh, no
I need to kiss her ass or she might leave. Even though she's being
ridiculous, I have to go along with it "
This is bad for her, for you, and for the relationship between you.
Learn to never let a woman act like a Brat without you calling her on it
(AND IN A COOL, ALMOST INDIFFERENT WAY!)
This is very counter intuitive, but again, we're dealing with female
human behavior, which has roots and drives that are complex and
often difficult to trace.
The solution is to NOT kiss ass or do things for them like everyone
else. Be different. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on
all of their issues and messed up behaviors just like you would a guy
friend or family member (use the same "you're my friend and I'm
saying this for your benefit" tone that you'd use with a friend) tease
and make fun of their insecurities, reframe other men who kiss their
ass, and put beauty in a new light (as a curse etc. how she can never
have anyone see her for who she truly is, and how every man she
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